Believe it or not,I did not create and do not control the entire World Wide Web and all of its contents. Therefore,should you follow a link or find something linked to something linked on this page that is not to your liking I am not necessarily to blame! In case you haven't noticed yet,caution and discretion are advised when surfing the Web. This will apply especially to "humor" sites linked herein ...This website is meant for educational purposes only. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This website is not designed to diagnose,treat or cure any disease. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. No assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to regulatory approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package,not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not bend, fold, spindle or mutilate. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Your mileage may vary. Each dealer negotiates its own prices. Please keep your hands in the car at all times. Do not tap on glass. Do not eat anything that has been on the floor for more than 10 seconds. Power tools are not an effective cure for headaches. If this were an actual emergency, this broadcast would be followed by official information and instructions. Please do not feed the animals. High Voltage, keep out! Contents under pressure, may explode. Not to be taken internally. Wait at least 1/2 hour after eating before using this. Warranty does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper usage, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet,missing or altered serial numbers. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. Process promptly. Post Office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect,incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect,error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Falling rocks. ost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. We do not prescreen visitors and we assume no responsibility for personal meetings. We advise caution and your personal discretion when dating. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Beware of dog. WEBMASTER MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND REGARDING THE CONTENT OF THIS WORLD WIDE WEB SITE. WEBMASTER SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIMS ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, WARRANTIES OF FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR MERCHANTABILITY OR AGAINST INFRINGEMENT. I SHALL IN NO EVENT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR LOSSES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES RESULTING FROM OR CAUSED BY THISWEB SITE OR ITS CONTENT, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION FROM YOUR USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE SITE, DELAYS IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION, COMMUNICATIONS LINES FAILURE, OR ANY ERRORS OR OMISSIONS IN CONTENT. Have a nice day.
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